Vol. 1 06/ 2001

Email: phutavanthu@yahoo.com Address: Nghia Do 4505 University Way NE mailbox 396, Seattle, WA 98105 USA

Mr. Nguyen viet Duc graduated from the National Institute of Administration and Saigon University -Faculty of Literature. He was in his profession as Rehabilitation Counselor for years in Southern California and is known for his compassion, generosity, and hard work. His paper on the importance of treating families reflects his nature as a decent and moral man. I am honored to be his eternal friend and to introduce his Happiness & Family book to VVD Magazine ‘ s readers.

Do hoang Nghia

Some of The Effects of Divorce on Children

I. Dynamics of single parent families formed through divorce

The top three factors that influence the decision for couple to divorce are social, personal, and relationship issues.

A. Social Level: The major changes include new technology, more alternatives, less stability, and the opportunity for greater frustration, fulfillment, and alienation. Women’s role has changed and the alliance between man and their work has weakened. Divorce is more acceptable today with lawful support.

B. Personal Level: People marry at different levels of psychological maturity and with varied expectations. If they are immature, their decisions and actions will most likely reflect it.

C. Relationship Issues: Marriage and family life involve give and take interactions. People often do not stay married when perceive that they are giving more than they are receiving.

II. Some affects of divorce on children

Divorce is major factor that impacts on children life although they do not always show immediately. Most children suffer mental and emotional anguish long after their parents’ divorce. They cannot forget the day that their parents separated. All the events are always in their mind.

Children at age of preschoolers are most distressed during the time of breakup but they are best adjusted. Children at age of adolescents are the most pained when they are young adults. They feel physically and emotionally abandoned. However, many children tend to do best if their mothers and fathers continue or resume their parents’ roles, manage to put the difference aside and allow children to have a continuing relationship with both parents. Overall, Wallerstein concluded, “Divorce is not an event that stands alone in children’s or adults’ experience. It is a continuum.” To strengthen families by helping children feel as socially, economically and emotionally secure as possible.

III. Treating on children

An increase in relationship between children and their parents’ make children do not feel abandoned. Step by step helping children to adjust their new living environment. The custodial parent must help herself or himself, as well as any children involved, adjust to new hierarchy. The interaction between the single parent and children are very important to replace the absence of the other. Strong relationship between siblings will make them happy and healed the wound of their parents’ divorce.

Remarried Families: Some problems common to remarried families: (read next vol. 2)

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